Ramadhan 'terakhir'

Assalamualaikum :)

So far macam mana Ramadhan? Ok? Bagus ah. Aku? Hm, ni yang nak cerita.

I'm 18, guys *sigh*

I was sitting alone, having my sahur; a cup of coffee, one delicious vanilla muffin that my uncle brought from Japan, and a kurma. I've had this for two days now. Selama ni I had nestum or Campbell's soup. Lepas tu aku minum air masak, sandar kat dinding sampai tertidur tunggu waktu Subuh.

So, as I was sitting alone, because my roommate is not in the condition for fasting, I got myself thinking; last year was the last Ramadhan I had. Last year was the last time I feel it's Ramadhan. I remembered all the last times I had. That night before first Ramadhan starts my mum would tell me and my sisters, "Jangan lupa niat. Esok dah puasa." And we would be spending our first Ramdhan with... cuti!!!! Then, pegi bazaar Romadhon. I just can imagine the foods like murtabak, roti john, ayam percik, taufu fa, puding caramel, oh my goodness. Oh, look at the time; it's almost berbuka puasa. Bukak radio! I would be sitting in front of the radio with my sisters waiting for the azan maghrib. After berbuka, naik atas solat maghrib and baca quran.

Sahur pulak. Mummy would knock on my door and aku basuh muka, turun bawah, makan nasi. Oh god. Nasi (so) early in the morning is something... haih. After taking nasi or yesterday's buka leftover, aku belek-belek dalam fridge minum juice sejuk ke or whatever. Takut nanti mengidam masa siang. Naik atas, bukak kipas, bukak aircond, sandar, tertidur. Lantas niat nak buat homework telah terabai begitu sahaja.

At school? Pagi-pagi aku dah nampak classmates aku minum air masak. Bila tiba waktu rehat, the most challenging part of all, turun tangga jangan terus tapi belok kanan dan terus ke surau untuk tadarus. But people would talk about shits or do their homework and not reading the quran. *rolls eyes*. Oh, then we would have majlis iftar kat sekolah tiap tahun for seeveral times but I would go once. Then, ada gak ifthorrr dengan kawan-kawan. Dengan kawan sekolah menengah sekali, dengan kawan sekolah rendah sekali. At least lah sekali.

Haih.

But life goes on. We've moved on. We've grown up. We're (kinda) adults now. We don't do things like that anymore. Or at least I know I don't.

Kat sini, semua sendiri. Kau bangun sahur sendiri. Kau makan pun sendiri. On the first Ramadhan, I got classes. And I swear I climbed up THAT stairs. Go and google tangga puncak alam. You'll know. Jadual aku dengan roommate aku lain so I would buy my own juadah berbuka sendiri kat cafe. Setakat ni paling murah nasi ayam rm2.50 kat kkpr. Naik atas, terbongkang. Masa berbuka, buka. Then back to tutorials and getting ready for quizzes. I don't even feel like Ramadhan here. It's more like a routine. Pagi-pagi pergi class, habis class naik atas beli makanan, lepas makan siapkan tuto. Terawih pun entah ke mana. Ngaji pun entah ke mana.

I miss everything back home; the early morning nasi, the buka leftovers, the tadarus, my mum's voice calling me for buka, my sister's knock on the door, the bazaar, the murtabak, the iftar together, the Ramadhan ads on the TV, the 2am fridge adventure, the azan on the radio, the chair that we would fight over so we can watch the TV clearly from the dining table, the Ramadhan dramas,...

It's all gone. Everything, left behind. No more of those. Things change. Gotta deal with it.

Make use your Ramadhan wisely, guys. No matter where you are. Remember, it's not about where you are. It's about what you do so that you'll be a better person after this Ramadhan. 

Yours sincerely,
Syahir(a)